Why is there so much Christian crap now on all of these “Burbank” Facebook pages?

 

 

 

It’s become almost manic on those nostalgia pages.

We’re now being told that every suddenly dead BHS or JBHS alumnus is on their way to heaven at this very moment; dead parents are being happily reunited with their snatched-away grandkids from some stupid motorcycle accident of 40 years ago; the angels are singing to anyone who will listen about a newly arrived cheerleader from 1965 who everyone loved but you know couldn’t have; and we were all “blessed” of course to have had the experience of sitting next to this once living soul in our math or social studies or cooking class.

Dream on, you late of Burbank retirees. What the hell has happened to this crowd of elders with all of their insincere cliches about an afterlife experience that never was nor ever will be?

These morbid Burbankers were never like this back when they were young. Did we miss something at the time? Were Tony and Susan Alamo headmaster and headmistress of the place and we somehow missed it?

We’d much rather hear about what a great fuck somebody was, or how he or she had tons of boyfriends or girlfriends and what good company they were all through the summer. That’s what you’re all really thinking about anyway.

Enough with the phony religiosity. These people who are no longer with us were all better and more interesting than that. Remember how cute they were?