And the wife’s classy, too

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Little Miss Blatant Self-Promoter

 

It must depend upon what your definition of “nicest” is…

 

A Burbank neighborhood was named one of the top ten Nicest Places in the country by Reader’s Digest this week as announced on Good Morning America. Ashley Erikson, who lives on North Evergreen Street and is a local community organizer, saw the contest a few weeks ago online and decided to nominate her neighborho8od.

The neighbors of North Evergreen have a private Facebook group of a few hundred people living along the 1400-1900 blocks of North Maple, Pass, Evergreen, Rose and Valley. The admins of the group, Rachel Diana, and Erin Viera-Orr, created the page in order to connect neighbors, build a stronger community and to improve the quality of life for those who live on or directly nearby North Evergreen Street.

 

Yenta-ville, 2018.

The Mingay MILFs, if we’re lucky. Or, more like those female neighborhood monitors they used to have in the People’s Republic of China. The ones that kept things neat and tidy.

 

Erikson nominated the group on the Reader’s Digest website and contributed multiple stories of kindness and community including sharing produce and fresh eggs between neighbors, holding community events for the kids, spending holidays together, lending a helping hand, volunteering on each other’s projects, raising their kids together and loving each other as a family would.

 

Comparing tattoos as well no doubt. Wonder if they can put this all on their LinkedIns?

This contrived togetherness sounds truly awful, especially for the older residents without tattoos or aimless husbands with histories of dysfunction. And we can only imagine that Facebook page.

They have chickens over there too? Alert the city if so. A rooster won’t be far behind. Or are they just splitting up the Trader Joe’s runs and trying to sound fancy?

As to “family,” we used to live in neighborhoods where kids would address their parents by their first names. Speaking of the nature of which, if anyone over there on Evergreen ever needs milk, Ashley knows where to find it. Cheap.

 

Reader’s Digest called them a local sustainable neighborhood in the heart of the media capital of the world.

 

Sustaining exactly what? Readers Digest also used to call the Vietnam War a noble struggle against godless Communism. That’s what we call Humor in These United States.

 

The neighbors are very excited about this opportunity and the media coverage it has brought to their neighborhood.

Erikson says,“It is just my way to say thank you to all my neighbors for being so loving and giving. I wanted to them to know how much I appreciated them and that what we have on Evergreen is special.”

 

How long’s she lived there? It’s certainly better than that back house from not so long ago.

It’s good to see that mindless puerility still has a big future in Burbank. Everything’s in good hands.

2035, here we come!

 

 

 

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First day and all that

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Yes, but why all the dorky signage?

 

Well, the Bryant Park store it isn’t.

Where we should have been afraid that we were giving this new Whole Foods a bit too much credit by predicting how it was going to end up like their more upscale stores, they must know the local audience. The “Cheese Shop” and “Lights, Camera, Eat” departments aren’t going to tax anyone’s mental abilities on the way to the checkstand.

Prosaicness is the standard around here, sure, but doesn’t “Grab and Go” sound like it came out of a 7-11 from 1978?

And how can this be?

 

The newest Burbank bar and restaurant will be Whole Foods’ Stage 71. The in-store restaurant and bar, with outdoor seating and a wide view of the Media District, will serve customers everything from burgers, tacos, chicken wings and even vegan sushi.  They can also watch a game on one of the several large flat screen TVs.

“Obviously being right across from the studios, there is going to be a huge clientele for lunch and dinner,” said Aeversold.

 

That “everything from” list isn’t much of an everything. What kind of studios are these now?

 

 

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Don’t mess with NYC

 

 

 

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Killer Samaritan

 

Blame EBT. That Burger King is one of the few places which takes it.

 

BURBANK, Calif. (KABC) —

A man in his 70s was stabbed in the face in an apparent random attack at a Burbank Burger King by a suspect who was stopped by a good Samaritan.

The suspect himself was stabbed in the struggle with the good Samaritan and died later Tuesday, police said.

 

What a hilariously wacky last paragraph. Isn’t it at this point that the good Samaritan becomes the bad Samaritan? We’ll let the insurance company figure it out.

 

Police were called to the fast food restaurant on North Victory Boulevard shortly after 11 a.m. Tuesday regarding an assault with a deadly weapon.

Investigators said three men were eating lunch at a table inside the restaurant when a man came in and began stabbing one of the men in the face.

That’s when a nearby patron intervened and struggled with the suspect. The suspect ended up being stabbed multiple times.

The suspect was transported to an area hospital in very critical condition with life-threatening injuries. Tuesday night, police announced that he died from his injuries.

 

Wouldn’t the better and more accurate word to use be “bystander”? A bystander intervened.

A good Samaritan is something different. When a good Samaritan kills someone, the nature of their participation has altered. If the good Samaritan is killed, they stay a good Samaritan.

We know the news gets this dumbness from the police reports, but still. Does anyone ever read this stuff before it goes out?

 

 

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Let’s see how long Burbank can keep from turning its new Whole Foods into a 365

 

Apparently tomorrow’s the big day for those Whole Foods Apartments that we were all promised would turn “Olive Street” into a destination zone. The PR people still can’t get the name of the location right.

But the two big questions for us are: Will they have a produce butcher? and, are they going to be importing their infamous new-model coed bathrooms into the facility.

We’re not just talking about gender-neutral stalls. We mean that the whole setup is same sex: Mirrors, sinks, and all. The gals just love it in New York.

Doubtful on those two, but who knows. We still think it’s weird that anyone would want to live above a market.
 

 

 
 

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*M*A*G*A*

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Grand Old Party

 

 

 

 

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So why is the City sending out special mailings advocating for the passage of an upcoming ballot measure?

 

Such a move is called “campaigning”‘ under the law, and there are rules against government agencies using their almost unlimited reach and resources to lobby for a specific vote result.

Because these latest mailings are not part of a regular newsletter or community greeting-type message — which is what Burbank used to do in this regard — the people who run this town are skating on thin ice here legally.

One of the things that both the courts and FPPC look at when it comes to formal complaints about illegal lobbying is whether or not the “informational” mailings are part of a bigger whole. If they are then there’s usually no problem with them, as long as the information being offered is neutral and factually informative.

But if the mailings are unusually placed, or are dedicated solely to the issue behind the upcoming ballot measure, and nothing else –such as a new gymnasium or tennis court somewhere — then alarm bells go off in these outside agencies.  It opens the defendant up to further scrutiny, and we already know how Burbank got officially caught last year for illegally handing over $50,000 to the Airport campaign.

Burbank has a documented history about not following the rules, and dedicated mailings like these are an automatic mark against the target of an investigation. They’re not conclusive, but they don’t help the agency in question.

These people are just arrogant as all hell now, aren’t they? They must think that if they just refrain from explicitly saying “Vote for Measure X!” in these mailings then anything they do is A-OK. But it’s not that easy.

 

 

 

 

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They should have called the police first

 

From the brain trust over at that **WeLoveBurbank** Facebook page.

Yeah, confront the guy.  He won’t ever do anything bad in response.

 

I have hesitated to post anything about this until I followed up with police. I just spoke with watch command and was told no arrest has been made. So now I’m going full Crime Stoppers neighborhood watch…

On Saturday afternoon, my husband and I were walking around Magnolia Park. We were on Hollywood Way walking towards the light at Magnolia from the new target and we passed a man masturbating in his car. The windows were down, he was not dressed and it was really obvious what he was doing. My husband yelled at him and I stepped back and called the police. The officers responded immediately and were wonderful and really helpful. They looked for him in the area but weren’t able to find him. If you see this car please call the police Immediately. I would love to see this perv get arrested and prosecuted.

Please don’t approach him. As satisfying as it would be to yell at him or throw rotten tomatoes or whatever, I don’t want him to have a chance to get away again.

 

So why did you approach him and yell at him and tip him off?

You never confront situations like this. You quietly call the police. They probably would have been there in three minutes and caught the guy.

 

 

 

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More reasons to hate Republicans and their fans

 

 

 

These people are so fucking stupid. Just horrible.

 

 

 

 

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An actual editor wrote this mangled and misleading paragraph (updated)

 

(Update: they rewrote both the headline and lede. Now the story makes sense!)

 

From today’s Leader, an annoyingly confused paragraph.

 

A man was arrested early Saturday morning for an alleged restraining-order violation in Burbank, causing the need to use a helicopter and K-9 unit in his apprehension and sparking a house fire, according to authorities.

 

Doesn’t this lede make it look like the BPD helped to set the fire? What goofballs they are, yes. That damned K-9 unit.

But that’s not what happened at all. Two paragraphs later…

 

When they arrived, officers heard shots being fired, and a fire was observed at the house that eventually engulfed the structure.

 

So is this just incompetence, or deliberate misrepresentation for the sake of increased eyeballs?

 

 

 

 

 

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They’re lying

 

From the Leader this weekend about those illegal Domino’s pavement ads.

 

The campaign, called “Paving for Pizza,” was announced on Monday, but dozens of streets have already been repaired. There have been 150 potholes repaired in Athens, Ga., 40 in Milford, Del., and eight in Bartonville, Texas.

Domino’s also tended to five potholes in Burbank on Pass Avenue between Burbank Boulevard and Hatteras Street, a project city officials didn’t know about until after it happened, said city spokeswoman Simone McFarland.

She said the work was done at the end of January after officials representing Domino’s pulled a film permit from the Burbank Police Department and an excavation permit from the city’s Public Works Department.

McFarland said those in charge of the project in Burbank used PaveCo Inc., a paving business Burbank often used for its street-repair needs.

 

How could the City of Burbank grant an excavation permit and not know what it was for?

They didn’t ask? Nobody was aware of what was going on down there?

No, the City is now trying to play dumb about the project because they know damn well that we’re right about how both state and local law forbid the placement of any kind of promotional signs within the public right of way of any street or highway.

That’s why you’ve never seen such a thing. Until lately. So get used to more of these public-private “partnerships.” They’re the “In” thing.

How embarrassing for Burbank. The city obviously agreed to have it done, and now they’re running for cover. Other local cities obviously turned down the offer.

 

 

 

 

 

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Millennial Alert: Most ideas should just stay ideas

 

Knowing the difference between a good one and a bad one is a rare thing. In every part of this wonderful new “21st-century!” world.

 

A woman has died after falling off a swing at the NeoCon design trade show in Chicago earlier this week.

Jacqueline E Albertine, aged 57, hit her head in the fall at the Merchandise Mart venue on Tuesday 12 June 2018, and was pronounced dead after being taken to hospital nearby.

The accident occurred in the afternoon at the David Edward showroom on the third floor, where the swing was on display. The company offers several swinging products for commercial and office environments.

The brand was presenting in its own showroom in the Merchandise Mart for the first time, after exhibiting at the fair for 50 years.

 

MySpace angle!

A post shared by Maxwell Marshall Moore (@fireberts) on

 

 

 

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Tell this to the local library

 

Which by our estimation contains about 1/2 the number of books it had 25 years ago. The Central Branch in particular has been decimated.

A local reader takes issue with a recent news story in the Burbank Leader:

 

To pick up on one small point in the aicle, “Local Rotary clubs donate little free libraries to Burbank,” the statement which begins the article, “In a time when most people read books via a tablet or e-reader…” is patently untrue. As reported in the Los Angeles Times in 2017, among major publishers, ebook sales have plateaued or been on the decline since 2015. Since 2016, sales of hardcover books have outpaced ebook sales…

The Burbank Leader has no need to propagate untrue statistics or fearmonger about the decline of print books. Print books began mass production in the 15th century, and as the above numbers reflect, are still doing just fine.

Lauren Bauer

Burbank

 

Good point. But it conflicts with this current corporate jargon about how everything is so wonderfully different now. It’s a great big beautiful tomorrow we’ve got going. Doesn’t she know?

Just wait until they put that MakersSpace into the new Central Branch they’ve got planned after they sell off that Glenoaks property for mixed use. We won’t need any books!

 

 

 

 

 

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What a waste

 

Shallow, screwed-up value systems abound.

These kids get no guidance from mature adults. Are there any still around?

 

For recent Burbank High School graduate John Yee, acing most of the five Advanced Placement tests he took during his junior year seemed like no big deal.

He received a 5 — a perfect score — on his AP calculus BC, chemistry, computer science and U.S. history tests and a 4 on his English-language exam, all in one year…

However, his ace on the AP computer science test was more unique. Yee said he received his AP scores last July and thought nothing much of them, but then he received a letter in December from the not-for-profit College Board, the organization that oversees the SAT and AP programs, informing him that he was one of 112 in the world who earned that perfect score…

The perfect score wasn’t just for the grade, however. Yee said he plans to attend Cal Poly San Luis Obispo and major in computer science. He added that he hopes to become a video-game programmer with that degree.

 

Can you imagine.

 

I like computer science because it’s logical and mathematical,” Yee said. “Those sorts of things come quickly enough to me, and I enjoy doing that stuff.”

 

So let’s waste it on trivialities.

This would be like an award-winning English major and literary scholar saying that after graduation, “What I really want to do is write greeting cards.”

Aim high, kids. Aim high.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This is not “honoring” contributions. It’s a slanted political statement

 

This was such horseshit in the News Press yesterday. Drumming up these kind of phony rationales is an admission that you know deep down you’re on the wrong track.

 

In Glendale, there’s a Dublin Drive, a Calafia Street, a Baghdad Place and an Eulalia Street — all named after places in the world, some of which have a connection to the city and others that don’t. But despite being home to the largest Armenian population outside of Armenia, Glendale has no streets named in honor of Armenian American contributions, according to at least one city official.

 

Saying that “Dublin Drive” is a recognition of the Irish is like trying to claim that “Ayers Way” is a recognition of the plumbing business.

 

That will change soon, after the City Council made the historic 4-0 vote Tuesday to move forward with changing the name of a two-block portion of Maryland Avenue between Harvard Street and Wilson Avenue to Artsakh Street after the Republic of Artsakh, a disputed territory between Armenia and Azerbaijan.

 

No, calling it “Yerevan Way” or “Saroyan Place” would be recognizing or honoring Armenians. This instead is the City of Glendale taking political sides in a border dispute. The chosen place name is no coincidence. It didn’t come out of a hat.

This would be like Burbank suddenly naming a street after the Gadsden Purchase while these Trump border policies are so in dispute, and then claiming that what they were really doing was honoring the wonderful Mexican people.

No, you’re making a political statement. Who’s fooling whom here?

And what does this disputed border area with Azerbaijan have to do with “Armenian-Americans” again? Or their “contributions”?

These Glendale people can’t even lie well.

 

 

 

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Funniest local news story of the year

 

 

Like a needle in a haystack.

Btw. Are any of these new apartment developments in Burbank planning to accept Section 8?

No?

 

 

 

 

 

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More proof that people in Burbank have become morons

 

It would take a more than human effort to adequately describe how awful this place is.

And, it’d obviously be pointless.

 

 

 

 

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