So it’s not a real studio then

 

 

What a frigging joke this is. No one cares about the Hollywood Sign. But this does show that ATT has huge expansion/use plans for that old “lot.”

 

Warner Bros. has a bold vision for an aerial tramway to transport visitors to and from its Burbank lot to the Hollywood sign. Like a plan that Musk has for a high-tech hyperloop that would shuttle riders between Los Angeles and San Francisco, the Warners’ tramway would alleviate traffic and parking problems that plague the famed landmark.

 

Like who goes to the Hollywood Sign? There’s nothing there. It’s always been a major joke of an eyesore.

So let’s build an eyesore to an eyesore.

 

The studio, now owned by innovation-focused AT&T, told Los Angeles officials Monday that it will pay the estimated $100 million for the so-called Hollywood Skyway.

“The Hollywood sign is an important historic and globally recognized landmark for the city of Los Angeles. The sign’s fame, however, has created unintended negative effects such as heavy traffic in adjacent residential areas and related safety concerns,” a Warners spokesperson said in a statement. “The concept of an aerial tram as a solution is one that been suggested in the past and was most recently highlighted as a potential solution in the comprehensive strategies report by Dixon Resources Unlimited.

 

A solution for Warner Brothers? Since when do they have anything to do with the Hollywood Sign?

 

Warners decided to step up given its close proximity to the north side of the Hollywood sign and wanted to be part of a solution that has the least impact possible on the environment so that Griffith Park and the surrounding residential neighborhoods are left largely undisrupted. 

“We understand there are a number of possible solutions being considered, but we are confident the city’s feasibility study will show our proposal to be the best option — an option that can be built and operated at no cost to the taxpayer and that will provide public benefit to the city of Los Angeles and its residents,” the spokesperson added.

 

Maybe they can also “step up” to help improve (develop) part of Griffith Park while they’re at it. You know, one of those public/private partnerships.

This is obviously about more than that damn sign. No one’s going to spend $100 million just to get there.

 

The length of the route would be more than 1 mile and last roughly 6 minutes, a far cry from current driving estimates even under the best conditions — traveling up the back of Mt. Lee to a planned visitors center near the sign.

 

There you go.

Hateful institutions full of stupid ideas at work monetizing, co-opting, and destroying your world. Get used to it.

Think the council will go for it?

 

 

 

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It’s a great big beautiful tomorrow

 

 

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Why is there so much Christian crap now on all of these “Burbank” Facebook pages?

 

 

 

It’s become almost manic on those nostalgia pages.

We’re now being told that every suddenly dead BHS or JBHS alumnus is on their way to heaven at this very moment; dead parents are being happily reunited with their snatched-away grandkids from some stupid motorcycle accident of 40 years ago; the angels are singing to anyone who will listen about a newly arrived cheerleader from 1965 who everyone loved but you know couldn’t have; and we were all “blessed” of course to have had the experience of sitting next to this once living soul in our math or social studies or cooking class.

Dream on, you late of Burbank retirees. What the hell has happened to this crowd of elders with all of their insincere cliches about an afterlife experience that never was nor ever will be?

These morbid Burbankers were never like this back when they were young. Did we miss something at the time? Were Tony and Susan Alamo headmaster and headmistress of the place and we somehow missed it?

We’d much rather hear about what a great fuck somebody was, or how he or she had tons of boyfriends or girlfriends and what good company they were all through the summer. That’s what you’re all really thinking about anyway.

Enough with the phony religiosity. These people who are no longer with us were all better and more interesting than that. Remember how cute they were?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Unfortunately, thanks to the right-wing 80s, commercial rent control is illegal in California

 

Although of course it’s a great idea, and would certainly help to eliminate the problem of skyrocketing rents here in Burbank, it’s strictly illegal for anyone in California to pass a rent control ordinance that applies to commercial tenancies.

We were just being facetious about this idea anyway, because as we always like to point out around here, where do you think you’re living? Someplace fair or intelligent?

You can thank those Reagan 80s Republican majorities for the bad news about commercial rent control. People are fooling themselves too to think that this current group of Democrats and Sacramento “liberals” are ever going to change things. Hell, they won’t even update the ridiculous 1995 Costa-Hawkins rules that seriously limit the timelines on rent control for residential tenancies. That’s why political activists from around the state have put this issue on the ballot for November. Maybe the voters will.

The mid-80s GOP (and their Dem facilitators) actually tagged the following ideological preface to the front of their bill back then just to make sure we got the message about who was in charge (Civil Code 1954.25). It’s your typical Republican economic boilerplate full of lies and nonsense:

 

The Legislature finds that the price charged for commercial real property is a matter of statewide concern.  Price controls on commercial rents discourage expansion of commercial development and entrepreneurial enterprise.  These controls also discourage competition in the open market by giving artificial price benefits to one enterprise to the disadvantage of another.  Because the impact of these controls goes beyond the local boundaries within which the controls are imposed, the adverse economic consquences  become statewide.

In order to prevent this statewide economic drain from occurring, the Legislature hereby enacts a uniform system with respect to commercial rents, which shall apply to every local jurisdiction in the state. This legislative action is needed to prevent the imposition of artificial barriers on commercial rents, as well as to define those areas not included within the definition of commercial real property.

In making these findings and in enacting this chapter, the Legislature expressly declares its intent that this chapter shall not apply or be interpreted to apply to local rental controls on residential real properties.

 

Hilarious, isn’t it? We especially love their conclusion about an “economic drain,” or how “entrepreneurial enterprise” only involves handing the supposed benefits of lassez-faire over to the big guys. And what about the competitive disadvantage created by having to suffer excessive commercial rents in California versus, say, Nevada?

Actually, the only competition and “artificial price benefits” that would result from imposing commercial rent control anywhere in California would go to the favor of those merchants who were lucky enough to have it! So, boo-hoo-hoo. The solution then would be to give the benefit of commercial rent control to everyone.

Which of course is what would happen in no time at all around the state. Every community in Calufornia would be enacting commercial rent control ordinances in order to keep up.  No wonder then that the GOP propaganda machine ran overtime at the mere thought of somebody controlling commercial rents. Bullshit, and treating the making of money as a solemn quasi-religious act, is all they’ve got.

It’s all they’ve ever had. Republican economic arguments never hold up to analysis, but so what? Same as it ever was, and it’s the main reason why the little guy is always going to get fucked in this country. No matter who’s in charge.
 

 

 

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Keeping cool for the weekend

 

 

Totally cool.

 

 

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It’s like Scientology for dogs

 

They wouldn’t qualify.

 

 

 

Those local Animal Protectorates (sic) have another special warning on their websites now about how they can only service to a 15-mile radius from the City of Burbank because of their avowedly firm policy of having to keep before-and-after tabs on their self-selected clientele or pet parents or non-owners or whatever it is they’re supposed to be referred to now.

The best word we think is “chumps.” That’s because you’d definitely have to be one to assent to some or all of the many control provisions this outfit imposes on their highly manicured customer base. Which, from the looks of their current Instagram account, appears to be almost exclusively anglo and affluent.

The latter you’d have to be. The exorbitant prices these Protectorates (sic) charge for their non-sale, non-patriarchal “adoptions” instantly rules out anyone else. The successful adopters all do look happy and shiny though.

TAPS has also created a new rationale for this grand expense, since the last time we checked…

 

We have a “pay it forward” philosophy at TAPS so that the younger, healthier and more popular animals help pay for the medical care for injured, senior and animals that we may have with us longer.

 

Such arrogant bullshit. It’s almost as crazy-good as the rationale they came up with a couple of years ago to justify their continuing to mangle the definition of the word “protectorates” after we pointed out how stupid they were not to know what it actually meant. They thought “protectorates” was just a fancy way of saying “protector.”

Still in Burbank for now, the next step will be implanted chips. That way you won’t get away from them.

 

 

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You know it didn’t happen this way, don’t you?

 

Notice how when the stories in this town start to get a little questionable and hinky like (meaning more than a bit culpable, or potentially blameworthy), they all of a sudden change?

It happens all the time. This is the current telling of that Burger King story from last week:

 

While trying to wrestle the man to the ground, Bogan said he received a small nick on the shoulder as the attacker swung the knife at him. He didn’t even realize it until a police officer pointed out his shirt was slashed.

Eventually, Bogan was able to pin the man down and gain control of the knife, but the attacker still fought back. During the struggle, the man grabbed at the knife while Bogan held it and stabbed himself.

After getting stabbed, the man repeatedly said, “Thank you.”

“He just kept saying thank you. Like, ‘thank you for helping me kill myself?’ It was unnerving,” Bogan said.

Authorities identified the man as 36-year-old James Rey Richard Kagaoan, a transient whose last reported address was in Sun Valley. He died from the knife wound he received while the 74-year-old man survived the attack.

 

So the guy just completely stabbed himself, eh? Repeatedly? From his natural, upside-down position of weakness?

Or, one time is all it took? Then and there they knew it was deadly?

That wasn’t the first telling of the tale. No, the first version had the “Good Samaritan” defensively stabbing the suspect instead.

We go with that one.

 

 

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Don’t speak ill of the dead?

 

Why not? He certainly did. Remember Ted McConkey, the guy that he had an obvious daddy complex over?

Jesus. Some of these letter writers in the Leader. What planet have they been living on for the last 20 years? Do they know anything?

 

It was with mixed feelings that I read John Janssen’s letter regarding the untimely passing of Mayor Will Rogers. I, too, was an admirer of Rogers and his efforts to preserve our beautiful quality of life here in Burbank. He will be sorely missed by the members of our community. My heartfelt condolences to his family…

I do agree with Janssen on two things, Burbank’s Will Rogers was a good man and the afterlife is indeed waiting for all of us. Then, and only then, will all human beings truly know. Please say hi to the other Will, Will. You have a lot in common. You were both good writers who promoted tolerance and understanding. That is a life well-lived.

 

Aside from the unctuous religious crap, which deserves no mention, and unlike that other namesake mayor once of Beverly Hills, our local WR was a thug and a bully. He was also dishonest as hell.

Although we would like to have thought he’d mellowed a bit over the last couple years, that stunt he pulled with the council critics over the Hospitality PBID’s illegal $50,000 bequest to the Airport campaign proved that we still had the same perversely fucked-up dude in charge.

Later documents uncovered by an Open Records request showed that Burbank’s version of Rogers knew damn well this campaign donation was problematical. He and the city attorney had discussed it in depth. But this didn’t stop him from going out of his way to publicly frame these council critics at the very same time and afterwards as liars, loons, know-nothings, and paranoics.

Nothing had changed. Rogers was still an evasive and arrogant dick who had no problem ignoring evidence if and when he wanted to slam someone (he especially loved using the psychological-state form of personal accusation). Forget talking about the past — he succeeded in ringing out his final season with the exact same sort of behavior. And as had often happened in the past, he got caught.

One of Burbank’s most toxic chickenshits is no longer around and there’s something to be said for it. Shall we make a list?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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And he grew to hate Republicans, too

 

A decent guy who was treated very badly by the “liberal” TV network. Probably because he didn’t trust rich people.

Like, who does?

 

 

Here’s an easy rule to follow:

Don’t trust anyone in life who makes more than $60-70 thousand a year. That’s because after a very short period of time they’re not like the rest of us.

Avoid them at all costs. They’ve become naturally corrupt and corrupting. Such things are inevitable.

 

 

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Bring commercial rent control to Burbank

 

Bla bla bla.

 

BURBANK – Store owners in the unique and historic Magnolia Park neighborhood of Burbank are concerned that spiking rents are forcing them to leave. On Monday night, dozens of business owners and community members met for a town hall to discuss what they call the gentrification of their neighborhood …

 

Sorry, but there’s nothing new about any of this.

It was only a few years ago that these overpriced boutique-erias replaced most of the truly cool thrift shops and coin stores and book places in the neighborhood, and so now they’re bitching about the very same fate they helped bring upon those worthy MP merchants of the past. Same as it ever was.

Short of buying their own buildings — which, even if they could afford to do so, no local landlord would be crazy enough to oblige — the only solution to this problem is commercial rent control. And where do you think you live again?

This is all part of a generalized scam anyway. MP landlords know that their commercial tenants can’t afford $7,000 a month selling fancy pop or sugar treats from Brooklyn. What they’re really trying to do is induce as many storefront vacancies as they can so that our staff and council people will soon begin to clamor for a “mixed use” solution to the “plight” of Magnolia Park.

We can hear it now, if only because we’ve heard it before. It’s positively in the spirit of Burbank2035 to rebuild Magnolia Park! And just think of all the wonderful new housing we’ll be creating on the upper floors!

What a fantastic opportunity to improve the neighborhood! A real win-win.

Don’t believe it? Just wait a few years. At best this is a credulous and clueless group. Unlike location-savvy Melrose, rich people’s businesses won’t be moving into Burbank. It’ll be mixed-use apartment houses instead.

 

 

 

 

 

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(Now more than ever)

 

 

 

 

 

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Military holidays are the best holidays of all!

 

 

Happy #IndependanceDay
May God bless this great nation & all the people who protect it! 🇺🇸

— Melania Trump (@FLOTUS) July 4, 2018

 

 

 

 

Yes!

 

 

 

 

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Movies were better than ever

 

 

Like, what happened?

 

 

Happy Fourth of July.

 

 

 

 

 

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Lonely, lonely Oakmont

 
This is from the LA County precinct map for the 2016 election. A sad and lonely patch of bright red.
 


 
How much btw is fairway?

Coming from the ancestral home of the John Birch Society, what does this tell us about the future of America? Sky blue La Canada! Arcadia and Sierra Madre in light azure.

Thirty years ago the whole area but for small parts of Pasadena and Burbank would have been blood red.
 
 
 

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Burbank’s next big growth area: The “Verdugo Corridor”

 
Don’t think it’s just a coincidence that staff is trying to push through a plan to help “relieve the traffic flow” on Olive Ave., or that a specific realtor in town right nearby wants to set up large “greenspaces” on those two corners of Verdugo. Every “idea” presented so far by these various parties will also end up pushing Burbank’s never-ending traffic onto the nearest available residential streets.

Perhaps the term “harass” them off the main drags is more appropriate, because that’s exactly what will happen. The Olive/Verdugo intersection will have been made into a complete pain in the ass if any of these reconfigurations go through, and so what else are you going to do?

Stay home?

These abatement-schemes-that-aren’t of course are just pretext for allowing massive growth in the area, and with the hugely “underutilized” expanse between Olive and Victory a number of blocks south,
big growth and development is what will indeed occur.

Verdugo all through the Flatlands is absolutely perfect for large-scale mixed use. Don’t think it hasn’t been noticed. These traffic plans are for the future.
 
 
 

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Congratulations, Burbank. Now you’re a local wage ghetto

 
A $2 an hour minimum raise in pay just by crossing that Clybourn border is what many people will be benefitting from starting today.

It’s an even bigger raise if you work for an employer who has more than 26 employees in total. Then it’s almost $3 an hour more in pay.

Rogers warned the council about this Burbank problem last year. If that business friendly crowd of nincompoops and public-pension drawers was really concerned about “lower income” people like they always say they are, they’d be raising the Burbank minimum wage just like LA did.

It would in fact have already happened. But that’s a different Burbank than the one we know.

Which means that parents, your college kids are completely nuts to be applying for summer jobs in Burbank or Glendale. Really stupid. So send them a couple of miles away.

The younger ones though are out of luck. Employers only need pay them an unbelievable slave-wage rate of $4.25 an hour for their first 90 days of employment. Which of course means that they get laid off at the end of summer. How convenient.

You can thank the Republicans for that one. Horrible, evil people. The lazy “Democrats” aren’t much better, because they could have easily changed these laws if they had any balls. As Republican-lites, they don’t care much enough to do so.

Fortunately LA does, and so enjoy North Hollywood, kids. It’s hipper than Burbank now anyway. It even has a real subway!

 
 
 

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The Council’s bogus concern here will affect few if any Burbank residents

 

Question.

Why don’t they mandate this relocation assistance to ALL displaced Burbank tenants?

Why just “low income”? And as we pointed out last week, there are few if any low-income residents in Burbank who are NOT already getting Section 8 — which has its own relocation rules that are completely apart from anything the city council claims it wants to do.

Burbank landlords no longer rent their open units to “low income” people anyway. What planet is this again?

 

Burbank to consider relocation assistance for renters

Burbank officials are considering a relocation-assistance ordinance that could help renters in the city facing certain hardships.

Burbank renters who might be in danger of losing their homes could receive help from the city through a proposed relocation-assistance ordinance.

The City Council unanimously voted during a meeting on Tuesday to direct staff to draft the ordinance, which would be similar to what Pasadena offers its residents.

Burbank’s proposed ordinance would require landlords to pay low-income tenants who are in good standing a relocation allowance if the tenant is required to vacate their unit due to demolition or if the unit is red-tagged.

 

Sorry, but every tenant in Burbank should receive such relocation assistance if their place gets junked or torn down/redeveloped through no fault of their own.

This city council though cares more about the upset feelings of their landlord pals than the immediate needs of our local renters — who btw have absolutely no political presence in a place like Burbank.

That’s why — unlike Glendale next door — Burbank tenants have no renters protections to speak of aside from those already provided by state law.

 

Other proposed requirements include that the ordinance only apply to multifamily units and that household income not exceed 140% of the Burbank-area median income.

 

Is that one-person median income, not household?

It must be. Otherwise every local household would qualify.

 

Maribel Leyland, Burbank’s housing authority manager, said the city currently has a municipal code that provides relocation assistance to tenants if their unit is being converted into a condominium…

Leyland cautioned the City Council on moving forward with a relocation-assistance ordinance because there may be unintended consequences.

She said there might be fewer available affordable units because landlords might be hesitant to rent to low-income households and instead seek out higher-income renters, which could increase the price of units.

 

So apply it then to ALL tenants. The discrimination/income problem will instantly disappear. And how many Burbank landlords nowadays DON’T rent to higher income parties in preference to lower?

Like there’s an income issue there to begin with. Yeah. In 2018.

This is all so phony and dishonest. By tradition, your Burbank City Council isn’t going to do shit for Burbank tenants.

Where do you think you live again?

 
 

 

 

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The past is never dead

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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