¿Donde está Roscoe?


Image result for terrifying bedbugs


So the low IQers at that We Love Burbank! Facebook page are now blaming homeless people for an apparent bedbug sighting down at the Buena Vista branch. Like what else is new – they must have run out of gypsies to tax or panicky animal dung to identify.

Besides the likelihood that these isolated Southern Californians are getting basic fleas and ticks mixed up with those other bona fide bloodsuckers, we’re wondering exactly where these nasty homeless people are supposedly picking them up. Or what the theory is that ties them to their sudden appearance, aside from general hatred and suspicion towards others.

Although we’ve seen hordes of bedbugs attacking park benches in Central Park, they’re most generally an indoor pest. And homes we’ve heard are usually indoors.

Real bedbugs will hide out in craggy little hidden wooden places underneath bedboards and mattresses and just about everywhere else. Contrary to all of the media hysteria, they’re actually pretty easy to get rid of — just a cloth soaked in alcohol will do it — but you have to be on them all the time. With all its little assembly slots and plastic caps they just love IKEA furniture, too.

Spraying doesn’t help much, and it’s the little baby black ones you really have to watch out for (naturally). They have a particularly nasty and prolonged sting to their itch.

Burbank will eventually find though that they’re easier to get rid of than the homeless. Fortunately, it’ll always have them around for someone to blame.

This btw will not get rid of them. They’ll come back up from the wood. You have to take it apart and physically clean them out with alcohol or ammonia-Windex.


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The above advice is useless — unless you like spending lots of excess time and money. It’s just over-elaborate surface treatment temporary at best. The vacuum’s the worst idea of all. It’ll just spread them around.

Ever tried to vacuum up fleas? Same thing will happen.






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4 responses to “¿Donde está Roscoe?

  1. Anonymous

    Cedarcide. Non-toxic, works like a charm. Naturally you can’t buy it at the Do it Center or Home Depot.

    Have you seen that flyer for Will’s disgusting 8-18 kiddie exploitation event at the BC library yet? What a louse. If only irony were toxic . . .

    • semichorus

      No. Love to see it.

      The guy’s always thought he’s a real charmer.

      P.S. Someone just sent it to me– these guys have definitely gone off the rails. Most kids can’t think 20 minutes ahead, let alone 20 years. And what kind of kid plans to still be around here then?

      Like they’d even care. And Rogers thinks he’s so cool with kids to warrant this production? I imagine it’ll make a good showcase opportunity at least for the local stage moms.

  2. Will

    Check with the shelters they all have a cronic bed bug infestation, that is where homeless find bed bugs, in the shelters. Look into it.

    • semichorus

      I have. There are no shelters. Downtown LA has a couple of rescue missions and that’s about it. Women and children a few more.

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